Having kids has been a bit of a sore spot for me lately. A few months back I went in for a Doctors appointment. I needed too talk to my Doctor about my period, my time of the month Aunt Flow, the swirling blood of hell whatever you want to call it. I have very irregular cycle; I may get it two maybe three times a year if at all. At the moment she said it’s most likely due to my weight and it should regulate when and if I lose the weight. Which has not been easy at all. I mean I don’t weight the same as I used too due to losing some weight. I was 290lbs and now I’m 256lbs.
It’s never easy losing weight I’m just for some reason having an extremely tough time losing the amount I need too. On top of me having Fibromyalgia, which means my body is in pain all the time. Which makes losing weight harder. Exercise hurts too begin with, if you put me being in pain all the time on top of it, well not a good feeling. It’s several days after a one thirty-minute session of exercise before I can exercise again.
So, because I don’t have regular periods my doctor said it’s not impossible, but it will be extremely hard for me too have kids. In the same breath she tells me if my period doesn’t regulate, I’m at risk for possible cancer in my future. She’s a great Doctor don’t get me wrong, but she could’ve eased up on adding on the disappointment too my life. She could’ve prepared me for more bad news. That was a lot of and big information for me to take in, especially in one sitting. For me to find out I may not be able too have kids was a punch too the gut. I always pictured myself having kids.
Yes, I could adopt but adoption is not an easy process. Adoption is not a cheap process and applying for adoption is no guarantee I would be approved. Yes, when I’m with someone I want kids with the process too have a child would be fun. I just don’t want something as enjoyable and fun as sex too become work. These days I’m not so inclined too have kids. I’m not saying I won’t want to ever have kids again it’s just I’m tired of bad news continually coming my way. I’m also now on the birth control implant to help regulate my period. I had too received the version that helps prevent pregnancy. It’s either prevent possible cancer or not take birth control and try for kids when I’m with the person I want kids with. Even with the implant my period is still an issue. Yes, I’m having it more consistently but Its still a few months in between.
Sometimes I feel bad because I start thinking about those in worse situations then myself. Like those who actually have cancer, like those who actually can’t have kids at all. I sometimes feel I have no right too complain. I have it easy compared to most.